The 20 things that happen to me because of my love for Scuba Diving

August 08, 2014

The 20 things that happen to me because of my love for Scuba Diving

I love Scuba Diving so much that:

1. Every penny that gets into my pockets wants to get wet, therefore all my hard earned cash goes into my next scuba diving holiday or into a new piece of equipment. Pretty standard.

2. I keep all my clothes squashed into a tiny wardrobe because the bigger one is devoted to my scuba gear. Once in a while I open it just to get the smell of neoprene.

3. I divide the world in half: dive-able  and non dive-able. The latter half is just not worth a visit (just joking).

4. If I meet another diver I start wagging my tail like a dog, even if I don’t have one…you get my meaning.

5. If I’m reading something and I see the words “driving” or “dining”, they all look like “diving” to me.

6. I’ve become a shark advocate. You say something bad about sharks or tell me that you’re afraid one is going to attack you while swimming in the Italian Riviera and I might bite, seriously. You’d also get all the science facts.

7. I watch every crappy movie with divers in it and comment on the (usually poor) diving skills of the actors. Including James Bond.

8. I recently started to swear underwater. I know it's not classy but I realised that the very effective English word “F***K” works particularly well through my regulator when having a close encounter with a Tiger shark on a night dive.

9. Goodbye make up, nicely blow-dried hair and perfectly manicured nails. Hello red nose, silicon rubber skin rash, permanently wet hair and chipped nails!

10. I wear my dive computer once in a while and wait for someone to ask me “what the hell is that big watch you’re wearing”. Then I get all my stories out…

11. I religiously watch every video in which a shark or a manta ray is saved from a line or a hook by a diver, fantasising that one day I might be the saver of one too. So now I dive with a Rambo style knife just in case.

12. I plan trips in details only to find out that I can’t afford them anyway. Maybe one day.

13. I can’t look at the sea and not think about going in. Even if it’s freezing and I don’t like the cold.

14. I would not consider dating a non-diver and a non-diver would never consider dating me. Unless he wanted to start diving. Luckily for me I am a diver. He’s even a second generation diver, so I also  got a pretty cool Father-in-law.

15. I genuinely feel sorry for those poor people who tried scuba diving but couldn’t keep doing it because they couldn’t equalise. Honestly guys, I’m so sorry for you.

16. I can name pretty much every living (tiny & colourful) reef fish. They’re as cute as cats & dogs but get little You Tube views, not fair.

17. Watching The Cove and Blackfish makes me cry like a baby. You don’t need to be a diver to cry watching those movies by the way.

18. I watched David Attenborough’s Blue Planet series 10 times and still go “Ohhhh” every 5 seconds.

19. I am a very conscientious diver. I never touch anything underwater and respect all marine life. Except when I'm in the presence of a Manta ray. Then I can't contain myself, I start chasing the Manta like a dog while screaming into my reg. Once I even  lost the group because of this.

20. Everything “diving” makes me regress to “super excited 6 years old” almost instantly.

Including writing this list :-).

Things that despite my love for scuba diving I don’t do:

1. Wear some horribly funny dive t-shirt or one that says that I’ve been diving in the most expensive resort on the planet. It’s plain tacky! I'm not a surfer, I'm not a sailor, I'm not a beach bum. I'm a diver and I want to look cool and tell the world that I love diving…hence Divesangha.

What does your love for scuba diving make YOU do?