I love Scuba Diving so much that:
1. Every penny that gets into my pockets wants to get wet, therefore all my hard earned cash goes into my next scuba diving holiday or into a new piece of equipment. Pretty standard.
2. I keep all my clothes squashed into a tiny wardrobe because the bigger one is devoted to my scuba gear. Once in a while I open it just to get the smell of neoprene.
3. I divide the world in half: dive-able and non dive-able. The latter half is just not worth a visit (just joking).
4. If I meet another diver I start wagging my tail like a dog, even if I don’t have one…you get my meaning.
5. If I’m reading something and I see the words “driving” or “dining”, they all look like “diving” to me.
6. I’ve become a shark advocate. You say something bad about sharks or tell me that you’re afraid one is going to attack you while swimming in the Italian Riviera and I might bite, seriously. You’d also get all the science facts.
7. I watch every crappy movie with divers in it and comment on the (usually poor) diving skills of the actors. Including James Bond.
8. I recently started to swear underwater. I know it's not classy but I realised that the very effective English word “F***K” works particularly well through my regulator when having a close encounter with a Tiger shark on a night dive.
9. Goodbye make up, nicely blow-dried hair and perfectly manicured nails. Hello red nose, silicon rubber skin rash, permanently wet hair and chipped nails!
10. I wear my dive computer once in a while and wait for someone to ask me “what the hell is that big watch you’re wearing”. Then I get all my stories out…
11. I religiously watch every video in which a shark or a manta ray is saved from a line or a hook by a diver, fantasising that one day I might be the saver of one too. So now I dive with a Rambo style knife just in case.
12. I plan trips in details only to find out that I can’t afford them anyway. Maybe one day.
13. I can’t look at the sea and not think about going in. Even if it’s freezing and I don’t like the cold.
14. I would not consider dating a non-diver and a non-diver would never consider dating me. Unless he wanted to start diving. Luckily for me I am married...to a diver. He’s even a second generation diver, so I also got a pretty cool Father-in-law.
15. I genuinely feel sorry for those poor people who tried scuba diving but couldn’t keep doing it because they couldn’t equalise. Honestly guys, I’m so sorry for you.
16. I can name pretty much every living (tiny & colourful) reef fish. They’re as cute as cats & dogs but get little You Tube views, not fair.
17. Watching The Cove and Blackfish makes me cry like a baby. You don’t need to be a diver to cry watching those movies by the way.
18. I watched David Attenborough’s Blue Planet series 10 times and still go “Ohhhh” every 5 seconds.
19. I am a very conscientious diver. I never touch anything underwater and respect all marine life. Except when I'm in the presence of a Manta ray. Then I can't contain myself, I start chasing the Manta like a dog while screaming into my reg. Once I even lost the group because of this.
20. Everything “diving” makes me regress to “super excited 6 years old” almost instantly.
Including writing this list :-).
Things that despite my love for scuba diving I don’t do:
1. Wear some horribly funny dive t-shirt or one that says that I’ve been diving in the most expensive resort on the planet. It’s plain tacky! I'm not a surfer, I'm not a sailor, I'm not a beach bum. I'm a diver and I want to look cool and tell the world that I love diving…hence Divesangha.